APPLES AND FIRE

There's some fire going on below the northwestern Sisters mountain. A water-delivery plane has been flying over our house all day, going from a pick up spot (a lake?) to the fire. I'm grateful for those who fight fires! It made for a spectacular sunset.

On a lighter note, this is my favorite way to make applesauce! Pick a TON of apples with your daughter and grandbaby, which is key to making this really fun. Then have your sweet husband chop up ALL of the apples. That's key number 2! You can peel them if you like, but the peels get so soft and are good for us, so we leave them on. Fill your crockpot to the brim and add 2-3 tablespoons of cinnamon. No water or sugar necessary.

Then put the lid on and turn to low. Don't worry if the lid won't quite close. It will as the apples cook down. If you do this in the evening, your house will smell so delicious the next morning and you will have hot applesauce waiting for your oatmeal or eating it right out of the pot. Refrigerating it makes it even sweeter. 

GIFTS OF ALL KINDS

I LOVE my grandbabies. They are each a little gift wrapped up in a pink, or purple bow...girls of course! The summer was wonderful, with 3+ weeks with Michelle & family here, and 2 weeks with Alyssa and girls here, one being with Mike too. Sweet, sweet times. Grace now 20 months old, Hannah  3+ months old, and Marisa 4 months old. Boy am I looking forward to Christmas at the ranch!

Hannah, our youngest grandbaby, is sweetness wrapped up in skin.
Guess mom and dad are still waiting for her to add sleep to her sweetness...

Alyssa has figured out the two-baby, one-husband life well!
She's an exercising, play-group lovin', MOPs going Mama!

Here is Grace's swimming pool I referred to in my last blog. Perfect for a little one!

We spent several days with Marisa, Michelle and Rich this week. Here Marisa is donning her 80's outfit, reminiscent of Michelle's leggings long ago discarded! 

Opa loves his grandbaby girls. He said, while shopping at a baby store near the little boy clothes (the amazing man that he is) that he needs a grandson. But I watch him with his little grand-girls, and I don't think so!!! They've each stolen his big heart!!!

We caught a big smile on camera....Marisa, not me! She's a smiley little darlin'! While walking in the backyard yesterday with the (four!) dogs and Marisa, she giggled at the dogs playing together.

In answer to "How are you feeling?"....oh, maybe you didn't ask. Well, I'll make this short. It honestly bores me, yet RA is my companion probably for life now. It appears that I may have been given a lifeboat....not a variation of this great vegan diet (I still love that my cholesterol dropped 80 points eating this plant based diet), but one in the form of a huge (I mean huge) syringe contraption that perhaps holds the key to reducing or eliminating pain and returning function to my body. Man oh man do I have some muscle rebuilding to do! Nothing like being skinny by nature, and then getting way-skinny after that! (I'm up 8 pounds, some of you who've seen me may be glad to hear....ok, how many women rejoice when they gain weight? Ridiculous!) Anyway, Greg helped me with my fears last Friday night, since he loves this kind of thing, and gave me my first monthly injection of "Spumoni," I affectionately call the Suponi....a heavy-duty drug that is an anti-TNF drug, for anyone curious. So, the good news is that Sunday morning I could walk without pain. That's so normal for most everyone, but that was just amazing for me, to wake up, wiggle my feet and have no pain! And go to church for the first time in months, having morning function. Wow! And I got to hold Marisa and even pick her up normal-style the last few days. Yes, sore hands and feet today from lots of on my feet time (we went apple picking yesterday!), and oh yes, that outing is probably part of the sore hands too. But steps in the right direction. I and we are so so so thankful. We'll see what the rest of the month holds, as sometimes the drug works great, sometimes stops after a few weeks, and sometimes doesn't do a thing. I'm a blessed one to get some quick results. You know, we really are to Seize the Day...each day. What is it for you that you can Savor and Seize today? 

MY FAVORITE JOB IN THE WORLD

My favorite job in the world has always that of a mom. Raising our kids, teaching them, being with them. A TREASURE! And it still is!

However........

That all time favorite occupation may have been replaced with this Oma thing.....

We just finished 5 weeks of wonderful time having our grand babies visit. 

(Their parents came too!) Marisa was here for over 3 weeks, 

and it was very fun watching her develop even in that short time 

and show her personality a bit! 

She's a girl with spunk, even at 3 months old! 

"Hello people! I want something and I want it now please!"

It kind of reminds Greg and me of her mama as a baby:)

I DID get to hold my grand babies! Marisa and I snuggled a little....when she was asleep!

Not as much as I would have liked, but some is good, for sure!

It was also fun having Oly the horse visit in our little barn. He liked the walks we took him on with the Milnes 2 and our 2 dogs and the baby...quite a sight, I'm sure. It was a little early after a 6 month vacation from being ridden, to try that out on our hills and Central OR spaces.
               





Mike and Alyssa's baby Hannah, now 10 weeks old, is precious!!!!!!! She is the most smiley baby we've every seen. As soon as she'd catch our eyes, even in the middle of a fuss, out would break her smile and cooing. Alyssa said she thinks Hannah is apt to be social like her Daddy:) Somehow we didn't get a single picture of her while here. Guess we were too raptured by our conversations with her, miss blonde hair and blue eyed girl!              

So apparently I need to update our toy selection from infant to toddler toys! At 19 months, Grace was great at finding something to do..........

the box of baking soda and bulk cinnamon bag were fun as well:)

She also loved going in her pool with her daddy......

that is, the jacuzzi we turned down to 80 degrees!

We went to a local alpaca farm. It sounds dorky, but with the hundreds of well trimmed alpacas and their babies on this property, it was really cool. When they saw Grace, they gathered at the fence. Or maybe it was the stroller they were curious about or Hannah covered by a blanket in the front pack on Alyssa. Anyway, it was fun to be greeted by those interesting creatures.

And isn't it funny that what was most fun for Grace at the farm, 

was a gate she could open and close! Love it!

 And now I'm going to sleep for a week. Maybe two! 

It was so so fun. This Oma has a heart bursting with joy!

WHEN ALL IS GOOD....

What does one do when absolutely everything in her life is really good, except one piece. And what if that one piece is seemingly a core element to living and serving and working and enjoying this God-given life?

I have some friends who have lost homes due to lack of work or other difficulty. Others are single at a time in life when they would like to have a partner to share the rest of their lives. Yet others have just one of their darling children who are not walking with the Lord, and worse yet are choosing to live in a dangerous lifestyle. And then other friends who are in pain & debilitation on a constant or frequent basis, with no visible answer to the way out. Yet all else is good for these friends! And so it is for me, with a recent "severe" diagnosis. ALL ELSE IS SO GOOD!

WHAT DOES ONE DO?

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8

We are to think on WHAT IS. What is on the bright side. What is positive. ALL we can be oh so thankful for. 

One night in the fall that was particularly difficult, I began rehearsing the names and character of God from A-Z. It got me through a tough bedtime....."think on such things."

Kay Arthur and others have said that the spiritual battlefield is our mind. We must contend for who reigns in that territory. May my King reign victorious in you and in me!

FROM WEANY TO WARRIOR

Paula emailed me yesterday a prayer for my weeny self. It brought on tears of gratitude and praise. Then she suggested I call and have her pray for me over the phone. I was so encouraged and uplifted, that I thought I had transitioned from my weeny-state to a warrior-state, ready to take on the day's challenges at OHSU!

But I'm still the weeny. 

Easily admitted. I am so disappointed that the Lord didn't see things my way, that I didn't get well eating super nutritiously as others have. I'm grieving that the new dr.'s ways are the old ways of any rheumatologist, and that I didn't get my way. I've cried, pleaded, trusted, sought scripture verses that resonated with my heart, and cried more. And all the while my caring husband trying to hold back his raw sentiments and words of "What's the big deal? Take the drugs. It's not as bad as you think." He's been on this journey for 9 months too, which hasn't been the party in Bend he expected either.

So I want to become a WARRIOR! That's my self-coaching goal, getting my eyes on the vision and knowing where I'm going. I want to be drug-free, healthy, strong, pain-free, and physically active again. Can that be part of the warrior definition? I hope so, in time perhaps!

Yet it starts inside, reformation of my inner-woman from a weeny-woman to a Woman-Warrior! And so I go to school again..."Take my yoke on you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." I have a number of wonderful teacher-family & friends in my life. My sister, my daughter & son-in-laws, Sue, Janet, Debbie, and others...I just know school is/was great for their students! But for me, I hated school growing up. Maybe it had to do with being 5 years old in 1st grade, and one of 51 students being controlled by a cranky old woman who whacked my hand with my pencil for my poor penmanship. And here I am again, behind a desk needing instruction and growth.

But look at my Teacher now....Jesus! He's gentle and humble in heart, and wants to help me find rest for my soul. I'm in! Now may I just stay at my desk, keep my eyes on my Teacher, listen well, and walk forward past all-residual weeny emotions into my Warrior Self just waiting to be revealed! Naughty children sit all around me trying to distract me from my Teacher's face, and I must not let them become my friends. The meds have been permitted to be a tool to healing and warrior-status. I will choose to be grateful for a choice that promises to have positive benefits. So down go my weekly 6 pills with a big green juice, in hopes that I'm one of the 30% this drug impacts in the 3 month trial. And if not, back to the desk....

"THE LORD IS A WARRIOR. THE LORD IS HIS NAME." Exodus 15:3 

In You I choose to trust!

A wonderful song of truth.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw

RELEASING CONTROL

Had the vegan diet been the thing to positively impact this RA my body is struggling with, it surely would have worked! I gave it my best and have enjoyed the benefits of feeling good, except for the bad of the RA:) And my cholesterol jumped way down to a super healthy level, so we'll keep eating this yummy way.

But it's time to let go even more into the Lord's care and hands. Perhaps I controlled my life a bit. (Really?) Or thought I was controlling it. 

So now I'm seeking advice and possible help at OHSU, so I can hold my grand babies without painful ramifications, and hopefully avoid permanent debilitations. I still long to do so without pharmaceuticals.

Sunday night, the Lord spoke to my spirit while reading a psalm, highlighting that it's better to trust in Him than in man. That the victory is His, and today is the day of His victory. That there are more for me than against me. I just need to open my eyes and see. So I rest in God's victory, rest in His strong hands, and trust Him. What a place to land! Safe, secure, good. What a blessed girl I am!

ALL THINGS COME TOGETHER FOR GOOD

I have experienced and recognized God's words to be true in a new way today! Cool!

"ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD 

for those who love God and are called according to His purposes." 

I love it when God speaks to my mind and heart through multiple sources, driving deep His message of truth and love! So it was yesterday. I woke at 2:30am with both shoulders and arms being in bad shape. Shucks. I hadn't felt that discomfort since early February, pre-prednisone. Yes, I did drop the drug yesterday one mg, but I also moved a few mattresses and stuff upstairs in an attempt to bring a little organization to the grandbaby storage closet. Guess I shouldn't have done that.

But God still speaks, even when I'm not very wise!

In the early hours of the morning, I opened my eyes and my iPad to read Joni & Friends devotional, just for me it seemed!

 "Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?"  Job 3:23 
 "He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains." (Lamentations 3:7)


Yet it is GOD who hedges us in. God who has built the wall.  God's chains. I don't blame Him for this disease, but He seems to know well how to use difficulties in our lives for good! So I rest in that truth. God knows our sufferings and pain. He knows our struggles and limitations.

I am aware of the much greater suffering of those imprisoned for Christ's name abroad, suffering persecution and separation from loved ones. That is deep suffering.  And those like Joni who have the suffering of confinement and pain all of their lives. I can't imagine. Nonetheless our physical or emotional pain occasionally have quite a voice and demand a hearing. It can all feel relative.


I then listened to Gregory Dickow's devotional about feeling like one's life is out of control. I can get into a little drama when I hurt, so I was there with the title of the message! I was reminded that life isn't all that I can see. Elisha's servant saw from "above" and realized there were more FOR him than against him (2 Kings 6:14-17) That was a fact he hadn't been aware of, even though it was as true as true. I know that was an Israel thing God was at work on, and this is little me. But....greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world! The Spirit in me is greater than the issue at hand. He's greater than the unknown solution and necessary way of endurance. He is greater.

He is great! All things do work together for good for those who love Him. 

He is good and to be trusted.