The course mapped out for me...

Today. Another day that the Lord has made. I rejoice and am glad.

He has given me a "lot" in life. A course mapped out for me. And He will never leave or forsake me. He is my master physician. I trust You Jehovah Rapha - the Lord who heals. You are my strength and my song. I will rejoice in You!

HARD DAYS

THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!


Oh how I long to feel this to the core of my being. I need the Lord's strength, because I am weak!


I'm tired of going to bed at night, which I usually love to do, only to wake up every hour or two with intense pain in my shoulders, and now in my swelling knee. How I long for the Lord to come and heal me, to give me relief with the meds starting to work. When He told me prior to our move here that I would have pain here, I had no idea. Absolutely no idea. 


Lord, I give my body and my husband's to YOU as a living sacrifice. Again. This is not fun. I feel useless to "encourage, enlighten, and energize myself or others to live their God-given purpose." Sigh.........


Yet I will thank You....
-that I have the freedom to stay home and rest
-that my husband gently and kindly cares for me in the ways I need, day by day
-that we have a roof over our heads
-that the background of Your majestic mountains outside our windows makes me catch my breath each time
-for the delightful Christmas tree with lights Greg found today and put up
-for continual Pandora Christmas music coming through our speaker
-for Connie calling me today to say she is caring about me and praying for me - wow
-for the church prayer chain I humbly entered into with my request
-for our kids coming next week
-that the Lord knows what I need and where I am weak - He has this under control
-for the 2nd rheumatologist referral and appointment scheduled today
-for confirmation that I should continue for a few more days with the current meds
-that I can pray for Bethany, who's suffered from this type of thing for several years
-that the Lord, He is God, my Almighty, Compassionate, All-knowing, Kind Father


I don't like this at all Lord, but I am yours and You are good. You are in this. 

WAITING

WAITING....waiting for Christmas? 
Waiting for our kids to arrive for the holiday? (Well, pretty much yes to this one.) Waiting for a diagnosis? 
Waiting for the worst to happen? 
Waiting to be pain free and energized again? 
Waiting to serve and give abundantly in the ways I know?


No....I must wait for the Lord. In Him do I hope.


"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning." 


"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 


(Psalm 130:5-6 and 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 )

PATHS

The Lord has taken me along a path that has highlighted my need for Him: placing me in situations where my strengths were irrelevant and my weaknesses glaringly evident. Through the aridity of those desert marches, he has drawn me closer and closer to Himself. I have discovered flowers of Peace blossoming in the most desolate places. I have learned to thank Him for hard times and difficult journeys, trusting that through them He accomplishes His best work. I have realized that needing Him is the key to knowing Him intimately, which is the gift above all gifts! (From Jesus Calling, 11-29)

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

"Let thankfulness rule in your heart. As you thank Me for blessings in your life, a marvelous thing happens. It is as if scales fall off your eyes, enabling you to see more and more of My glorious riches...Instead of trying to be in control, you focus on Me and what I am doing. This is the power of praise: centering your entire being in Me. This is how I created you to live, for I made you in My own image. Enjoy abundant life by overflowing with praise and thankfulness." Jesus Calling, Sarah Young


That says it all....a gift to lift my eyes off of myself and my circumstances...to look to the One Who is a joy to love and follow. Thank You Lord.

WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW

I never knew the bed I'd crawl into to get warm in the morning when I was a little girl, would be the one I'd lay on and read Max Lacado stories to my dying mom. I never knew that the Dad who didn't have time for me as a girl, would lavishly cherish my visits and reading to him of scripture during his last year of life on this earth. I never knew launching my kids into independence and adulthood meant that I had to grow up and become something besides my favorite occupation of a mom. I never knew the journey to a great relationship with my husband was through the difficulty of learning to know and share my feelings, and how to help him hear and share mine and his. I never knew that a really good way to a deeper walk with Jesus was through the door of physical pain.


I'm grateful I never knew.


And so glad for the gift of these journeys.