BABY JOY

I couldn't get enough of Grace! We had so many snuggles and read books and sang songs and danced the Hoki-Poki and went for some walks and played drag-the-baby-on-the blanket (either Grace or her baby)!

Grace loves to have "coffee" in the mornings with her mommy and read their Bibles! 

We're pretty sure Hannah is teething.....and we know she is more adorable than you can imagine! But keep tender fingers away from that jaw-bite! Yeow!!!

We went to the Washington Park Zoo, a favorite of the kiddos and parents and gparents! At the end of a fun and long walk, we got in a little photo shoot before Grace fell asleep!

 I was thankful for the big dose prednisone while in DC, because the hand holding and picking up and snuggling were going to happen no matter what, since our hearts are held captive! We visited with Marisa on both sides of this trip, but I was toast and we missed photo opportunities there. I'm starting the RA infusion Rhemicade on Nov 30, and am back on prednisone for a few months, since my Dr. kindly wants me to have a life of sorts. We're thankful for this man and are hopeful that this drug may be God's solution to return to function. I'm still going to have my first ever vegan Thanksgiving, and can't wait! The stuffed squash and mushroom dishes and pumpkin puddings and sweet potato dishes sounds amazing to me!

What a life we have to be grateful for! Our kids, our grandkids, our siblings and family, our friends, a roof over our heads and wheels under our feet, beauty for our eyes to see and ears to hear, our adorable dogs, our fantastic church, my superman-husband, the endurance the Lord continues to equip Greg and me with, and especially Jesus, my Strength and my Joy!

HONESTLY HARD

So just when I get inspired by James to be joyful because God is building endurance in me and I'm on my way to becoming perfect (like..."enough" type of perfect) and complete, lacking in nothing................it has become so hard!

"It." This RA. What the sorry-for-me person calls a life destroyer and relationship challenger and a service stopper. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life, since it's like an Ever-ready battery.

I am pondering what recently occurred to me, that God has seen fit that my ability to go (my feet), to do (my hands), and to be motivated (my energy) be set aside for a long while or taken away. I haven't figured out what He wants me to do with that.

Yet, I hear the whisper to be still and know that He is God. To not be anxious because it doesn't change a thing, and I miss out on His peace that passes understanding, when I am. I hear Him call me to come aside for a while and rest in Him, that He knows I am weary (you too?) and by myself, this load is too much. Jesus calls me to once again take His yoke upon Him, because He wants to teach me a thing or a million. That His yoke is light, and He wants me to learn from Him to be humble and contrite in heart. That's where I will find rest for my soul.

The Simponi is barely working. So my RA dr. will switch me to a more powerful and adjustable infusion drug the end of November. Maybe it will be God's miracle for me and I can hold my grandbabies in December and hike with my husband and go out and do fun things with my family and make plans....oh joy at the thought! But be still my soul and know who is God.

I again choose to trust Him for what I don't know and what I can't control. It is good, because He is good.

HONEST JOY

"Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have it's perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-3

There are several parts of this verse that thrill my heart! I would LOVE to be lacking in nothing. To genuinely have no lack in my person or character or body or heart. 

And to be complete....like the Lord had finished His work and said He was done. I love to complete little projects or a goal or a plan. Crossing things off a list delights my silly heart. I'd like the Lord to be able to cross me off His "to-do" list because I was complete. Sigh.....I suspect it won't be happening this side of glory! 

And to be perfect - not perfect as in perfectionism. I've long given that up due to its lie. But perfect in it's definition: "Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it  is possible to be." 

I'd like to cross myself off my to-do list. 

Fat chance. It takes more than plans and goals and effort and focus to become perfect, complete, lacking in nothing. 

According to this verse, very good "muscle builders" are our various trials. The testing of our faith.  The endurance that results when we let it have it's perfect result. The attitude choice when the trials show up or hit us.

My whiney self moaned to myself more than once, and to the Lord, "I don't want any more trials and faith testing and endurance building. Aren't you done yet? Aren't I good enough?" 

My Dr. asked me today if any spiritual insights have come to me this past year during this illness. Good question. (He's obviously not a typical doc!) So I reflected on the de-priding work (my word!) the Spirit has done, showing me my self sufficiency, arrogance in assuming I know what we're in Bend for, making plans without consulting the heart of my Savior. I'm so grateful for the revision of my life pace to allow much space for rest, reflection, conversations, time to notice and time to be... The humbling that has come with inability to be and act as the me I'm used to being is useful. (But like a hot iron, I use it when I absolutely have to, and no more often. It's not my favorite tool.)

I saw that the months of anger and irritation and frustration, in spite of not being able to alter the house building process a bit last year, was a type of war against myself, not a lot unlike this auto-immune disease where my body is attacking it's own joints. Insights. There they are. I have no answers. The doctors have no answers as of yet either. 

Tomorrow, Dr. Greg will give me my 3rd Simponi injection. My Rheumatologist and we suspect this drug isn't working very well for me. I'm grateful for any lift it throws my way, but it's not showing itself consistent or relieving my pain & disability for very long.  Thus, I am aiming for the mindset of joy that my trials provide opportunity for, as I know in my mind and heart that this testing of my faith (learning to trust Him more and more) is producing endurance. I choose this moment, again, to rest in this process of endurance building, that God may complete His work in me of completion, perfection, and filling my great lack with Himself. 

May I be pliable Lord!

A NEW KIND OF GRATITUDE

I've been busy! For me that is. But how cool is that?!!

Shucking, cooking, and de-cobbing 48 ears of corn
Showering two dusty big dogs
Changing my sheets and all dog bedding
Walking a 45 minute river loop and getting a little cardio going
Lifting some 2 pound weights
Driving myself here and there and wherever I want to go
Going to Bible study weekly
Writing in my Bible study book
Helping with the K-1 age kiddos at church this morning
Continued coaching of a client of 8 weeks
Cleaned up my desk at home of numerous long-term little tasks
Researched deals on Craig's List to fill out my baby-stash for this coming December's family time
Several 20 minute dog walks
Loads and loads of laundry in the same day
And, thinking of last January's situation, I'm opening and shutting the curtains, arranging my bed pillows, drying my hair, getting dressed almost always without help

It's so funny to me and kind of wonderful how joyful doing mundane things can be, when the ability to do those tasks had been taken away. I won't know for another 4.5 months whether this drug will be effective enough for me to put me in remission or at least to a satisfactory state of function and pain reduction, but I can wait! (It is my choice:) I'm not out of the woods, but I'm seeing some clearings!

I'm so so grateful! Little did I know at the beginning of 2011 when I asked the Lord and set a vision to become a grateful-from-the-heart woman, what the Lord would use to help me in that process. And WHO He would use to comfort, encourage, come alongside, and cheer me.....YOU! Thank you dear dear friends! I love you!

GOD's AMAZING TRIVIA

FUN STUFF......

The eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days

Those of the canary in 14 days

The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days

Those of the mallard in 35 days

The eggs of the parrot and ostrich hatch in 42 days

Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind

Each orange has an even number of segments 

Each ear of corn has an even number or rows

Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains

Every bunch of bananas has on its' lowest row an even number of bananas

And each row of bananas decreases by one

The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.

(From my friend Helen in Salem)

"God saw everything He had made, and it was very good." And that means you and me too!

APPLES AND FIRE

There's some fire going on below the northwestern Sisters mountain. A water-delivery plane has been flying over our house all day, going from a pick up spot (a lake?) to the fire. I'm grateful for those who fight fires! It made for a spectacular sunset.

On a lighter note, this is my favorite way to make applesauce! Pick a TON of apples with your daughter and grandbaby, which is key to making this really fun. Then have your sweet husband chop up ALL of the apples. That's key number 2! You can peel them if you like, but the peels get so soft and are good for us, so we leave them on. Fill your crockpot to the brim and add 2-3 tablespoons of cinnamon. No water or sugar necessary.

Then put the lid on and turn to low. Don't worry if the lid won't quite close. It will as the apples cook down. If you do this in the evening, your house will smell so delicious the next morning and you will have hot applesauce waiting for your oatmeal or eating it right out of the pot. Refrigerating it makes it even sweeter. 

GIFTS OF ALL KINDS

I LOVE my grandbabies. They are each a little gift wrapped up in a pink, or purple bow...girls of course! The summer was wonderful, with 3+ weeks with Michelle & family here, and 2 weeks with Alyssa and girls here, one being with Mike too. Sweet, sweet times. Grace now 20 months old, Hannah  3+ months old, and Marisa 4 months old. Boy am I looking forward to Christmas at the ranch!

Hannah, our youngest grandbaby, is sweetness wrapped up in skin.
Guess mom and dad are still waiting for her to add sleep to her sweetness...

Alyssa has figured out the two-baby, one-husband life well!
She's an exercising, play-group lovin', MOPs going Mama!

Here is Grace's swimming pool I referred to in my last blog. Perfect for a little one!

We spent several days with Marisa, Michelle and Rich this week. Here Marisa is donning her 80's outfit, reminiscent of Michelle's leggings long ago discarded! 

Opa loves his grandbaby girls. He said, while shopping at a baby store near the little boy clothes (the amazing man that he is) that he needs a grandson. But I watch him with his little grand-girls, and I don't think so!!! They've each stolen his big heart!!!

We caught a big smile on camera....Marisa, not me! She's a smiley little darlin'! While walking in the backyard yesterday with the (four!) dogs and Marisa, she giggled at the dogs playing together.

In answer to "How are you feeling?"....oh, maybe you didn't ask. Well, I'll make this short. It honestly bores me, yet RA is my companion probably for life now. It appears that I may have been given a lifeboat....not a variation of this great vegan diet (I still love that my cholesterol dropped 80 points eating this plant based diet), but one in the form of a huge (I mean huge) syringe contraption that perhaps holds the key to reducing or eliminating pain and returning function to my body. Man oh man do I have some muscle rebuilding to do! Nothing like being skinny by nature, and then getting way-skinny after that! (I'm up 8 pounds, some of you who've seen me may be glad to hear....ok, how many women rejoice when they gain weight? Ridiculous!) Anyway, Greg helped me with my fears last Friday night, since he loves this kind of thing, and gave me my first monthly injection of "Spumoni," I affectionately call the Suponi....a heavy-duty drug that is an anti-TNF drug, for anyone curious. So, the good news is that Sunday morning I could walk without pain. That's so normal for most everyone, but that was just amazing for me, to wake up, wiggle my feet and have no pain! And go to church for the first time in months, having morning function. Wow! And I got to hold Marisa and even pick her up normal-style the last few days. Yes, sore hands and feet today from lots of on my feet time (we went apple picking yesterday!), and oh yes, that outing is probably part of the sore hands too. But steps in the right direction. I and we are so so so thankful. We'll see what the rest of the month holds, as sometimes the drug works great, sometimes stops after a few weeks, and sometimes doesn't do a thing. I'm a blessed one to get some quick results. You know, we really are to Seize the Day...each day. What is it for you that you can Savor and Seize today?