It is so hard to be patient!
When I felt lousy all over and had no idea of whether I would get well or not, somehow it was easy to ride the storm. But now that I am way way better than I was 2 months ago, I can taste health....and I can hardly wait! The mornings I awaken stiff-sore-fatigued, which are frequent at this stage of my prednisone withdrawal, my faith falters. My eyes look down. At me. At my issues. At my teeny tiny world. When my discomfort lasts most of the day, I tend to walk with a heaviness that only One can carry. I forget. Forget to take His yoke upon me (remember Barb that it's easy), I forget to look up, forget to let my heart raise into His presence and away from little me.
I have just enough energy many days to focus on cooking good food, on rest, on saunas, and maybe a little more. So how do I make my focus others and Jesus? This is more difficult than when I had none of myself. It makes me think of Paul's words...and the answer to my dilemma.
I Cor 15:57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
So I run to Jesus again. He has already won this battle. I flee from my self-centered thoughts. I enter into praise and gratitude. I give Him "a sacrifice of praise" and "a sacrifice of thanksgiving", which really are not sacrifices at all! I remember a devotional a while ago that encouraged me to recognize that this time of quiet and worship IS the "work" given me by the Lord for right now. Today is a gift. This wanna-be-busy-again-woman still has much to learn.