Friday, May 4, 2012


Sometimes one can be too honest in the space of a blog. I think I found that space in my last entry. Thanks for loving me anyway, even when I....complain! I listened to a CD Kathy mailed me later the same day I wrote the last entry. This hit a spot with me and is reshaping my thinking. And maybe it will with one of you too.

THE LAND the land between Egypt and the Israelite's promised land of milk & honey. This Land In-Between is fertile ground....

For Complaint....."Manna again?" Or I hear my grumble saying, "Pain again this morning?"

Fertile ground for.... Emotional Meltdown...."If you will treat me like this, kill me at once," Moses cried out to God. Or me, "God, I don't like this and don't want to handle it again...."

Fertile experience God's God telling Moses to call 70 elders to help him carry the responsibility for the Israelites. (If I open my hands to release my fear and anxiety, and then keep them open in trust to receive God's provision, maybe I'll too experience His goodness, graciousness, and provision.) "Is the Lord's arm too short?", God asked Moses in Numbers. Of course not. I look at the family and friends God has given me to help me carry my tiny load, physically & emotionally. It overwhelms me with gratitude.

And the Land In-Between is fertile ground for....transformational growth. Here's where the real work comes in, where the opportunity shows up, where the choice is to be made. This Land In-Between is the best soil in our lives to trust our heavenly Father. For the Israelites, it was their time to become trusting, God-fearing people. For me, it's my place to learn to pray, to trust God, to surrender again and perhaps over & over.

Yet my heart is in danger in this Land In-Between. My faith can die or grow. And only I choose. Complaint doesn't want to leave and demands to come back if I send it away. I deter complaint's return by inviting trust and gratitude into my house, help it unpack it's bags, and settle it into my thoughts and emotions, my mind and heart, my prayers and cries of my after day after day.

The space in my life which I most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce what I so desperately desire, where God does some of His richest and deepest work. 

God help me guard my heart. May my trust in You grow.

Willow Creek Conference speaker, Jeff Manion. 

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