I am learning what to do when on a longer road than expected, when I must wait. I thought my current pain-journey would be over a few months ago. Or at the least, I would have seen that I was almost there. There - in the perfect solution. There - in the results I want. There - in the life I want to live.
Maybe it's in the "there" that I fall short of understanding God's best for me.
What is "there?" There is -
an end destination
a desired location
a hoped for spot
a planned arrival point
a prepared for end-of-the-journey
a chosen path ending
We have a timeshare in Cabo San Lucas which we (foolishly) bought with my grandma's inheritance $ years ago. Now, that sounds like a "there" where I would love to go right now. I love Depoe Bay, and really enjoy going "there." When we get to visit Gracie in VA, it's a joy to visit "there." And now to get to drive to Creswell to see Marisa...another favorite "there" spot.
But we love living "here" and have a hard time leaving, even to go to our favorite there spots. We are content here....don't necessarily want to leave here, even if we'd love to be there. It's nice here at home. And it's comfy to be content when things are nice.
If only I could be content in all things, whether full or hungry, in hardship or not, like Paul. I wouldn't want most of Paul's life, but to be content no matter what.....before arriving "there..." that's a destination to pursue. To be content, I must wait. Yet I want to get to my "there" of health, like really soon, this week, today, now, yesterday!
We have a beautiful framed calligraphy of Psalm 37 in our family room. When I notice it, I'm reminded of what I must do..."Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him." I must seek...I will seek to find the pocket of peace to rest in while I wait, in this land which is not so comfy....the parking lot that looks like kids dropped off to go to camp, full of loads of people doing the same thing I am doing. Waiting in expectation, bags packed, and aiming to bunk in with trust and peace.
Could my praise of Jesus' healing touch in my life speak as loudly as my struggles to obey in contentment now?
I think I know the answer. I don't like the answer very much, but I know Jesus has me hedged in - back, front, sides, top, bottom. He has His best for me in mind, and I have great hope I am not set aside out of the fruit-bearing life, regardless of what it looks like to me.
So I will wait...for Him...here. Patiently. Breathing in deeply the fragrance of life today, here. Grateful for so many many blessings, here, today. Happy for the journey-partners God's given me, right here and right now. I'll wait. Patiently, as the unknown demands. Here. Now. Waiting for Him.