Thursday, May 3, 2012


"Sometimes all we can do is endure," my dear friend Kathy wisely said to me months ago.

So in this enduring time, that's what I'm again striving for. I upped (with my MD/ND's permission) the dosage of prednisone hoping for relief and the stop of the return of issues, and the hope to then drop it more slowly beginning in a couple of weeks.

I hear on one medical side from two MD's to be patient and wait, that the great foods and diet I am on will work in time. And on the other medical side, that I need to get myself all lined up with a better rheumatologist for the heavy hitter biologic drugs, in case my plan #1 doesn't work before I start to see deformities happening. (My aversion to those drugs is their reported 400% increase in cancer cases with those on them for a while, as well as the shot-in-the-dark with which one might work.)

So I am enduring with God's help. I am seeking an attitude of gratitude, which is in hiding a lot of the time. I am aiming at a focus on others and joy, in spite of the throbs and other random joint issues. I am learning to live a new way. (Can I say I don't particularly like it? This is hard!)

Yet there's always joy to be mined out in the sorrow, Henry Nouwan says. So again I ...take Jesus' yoke on me to learn from Him, for He is gentle and humble in heart, and I will find rest for my soul. His perfect love casts out all fear....

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