Monday, February 6, 2012


My sweet friend Bonnie asked me a question this weekend that I've been pondering. She asked me to teach her how to walk alongside me with this disease. What a meaningful thing to ask.

It's an important question because everyone at some point, and many at this moment (more than we know) are hurting. Pain clearly comes in so many forms - physical issues, whether temporary or long-term, emotional trauma or hurt, spiritual pain.... But I think there can be commonalities between the pain, this pain that shifts with time.

  • The pain and situation may be out of your control
  • You have no answers
  • The end is not in sight 
  • You don't know who to go to for help
  • You don't know how to best cope
  • You find yourself in a dark and depressing place
  • You're exhausted from the pain
  • You're confused
  • You're consumed by your stuff
  • You have found yourself suddenly in a very unfamiliar place with no known paths
  • You are desperate to get out
  • The situation goes on and on
  • The work needed to move forward takes much effort and time, even if that "work" is resting

From my limited but rich experience with loving friends and family, I'll share the little things that have encouraged me. Thank you, all you loving friends for your expressions and examples of love to me!  This blog today is for all of us!

  • Ask your friend how she is doing, and mean it....listen (Thanks Bonnie and Michelle)
  • Zip a text message that says you're praying for her (Thanks Lora and Michelle)
  • Zip a text message that says you've been thinking of her (Thanks Sue & Debbie)
  • Send a sweet or funny card, snail mail. It's so wonderful to find that treasure amidst the throw-away mail and bills (Thanks Debbie, Diane, Linda, Lora, Kathy)
  • If you know of a good book that is easy to read and an encouraging story, mail it Getting your mind off yourself and onto encouragement is a delight. But not a how-to book. (Thanks Jana, Mark&Deb, Sue). 
  • Talk about yourself - not non-stop, but some! Like I said, thinking about another person's life is so good.
  • Send this person a prayer request from you. What a joy to pray for someone else. (Thanks Jean & Bonnie)
  • Try not to offer to do something you feel you 'should do' for that friend. Especially if you can't realistically make it happen. Your really good intention could accidentally hurt fragile feelings, even tho' she'll understand your conflict.
  • If something comes to your mind for that friend, do it! She'll love it! (Thanks Debbie)
  • If you have time, call and tell her you want to come clean her refrigerator or cooktop, or change her sheets, or give her a manicure, or...the list is unending. If your friend is a 'she' and her 'he' is picking up the slack, chances are she could use some help like that.
  • If you like touch, gently rub her legs (if she's lying down). (Thanks Bonnie)
  • Or ask her if and where she's hurting physically and if you could gently give her a mini-massage
  • Spur of the moment need for a long conversation. (Thanks Jana)
  • Leave a message if she doesn't pick up. It's so fun to see a name and hear a VM.
  • If convenient, ask if you can visit at a particular time (or find a mutually good time). Your gentle and peaceful company will be a joy. (Thanks Cindy)
  • If you know what she can and does eat, bring her something you like in that category
  • This doesn't work in most people's busy lives, but if possible with you and there's a need, relieve the spouse of some of the new responsibilities with a 1/2 day, 1 day, or overnight visit. Be sure to come "all inclusive" so she doesn't need to take care of you. (Thanks bunches Diane!)
Ok, so there are some ideas for all of us! Let's keep our eyes out for whom the Lord will show us could use a little lovin' from us this week!

1 comment:

  1. this is such a helpful post! thank you for thinking of us and how we might be able to help you, and others, during times of suffering. i can't wait to come see you in just a few weeks. it sounds like, after the most recent update, we may even be able to go on a walk!! praying!!! love you-