Thursday, February 2, 2012


I never knew how wonderful getting a cold or the flu was to me. It came, made me feel crummy, and then left me feeling fine again. But this is so different, that I don't know what to do with it. It hit me as fast as the stomach flu, displaying itself at first in significant pain in my hands and wrists. But over four months later, it's still circulating around my body head to toe, having settled in in one-half dozen spots, but showing up here and there as it wishes. I know how to deal with a "bug." I have little over-the-counter med tricks. salt water gargles, and other things that help it move through as quickly as possible. My life is minimally interrupted. But unless a person has lived with chronic, disabling pain, it's a brand new world.

So, what to do with it? That's what I'm seeking to know. Sometimes it's to reach and grasp hard God's strength, and just try to endure it. Sometimes, when the roar of pain has settled down as an ongoing drone in the background, I realize how sick my body really is and sense the war going on inside - my body attacking my body. Who will win? "Give me an M!" That stands for the big-gun, disease-altering drug I've had four doses of, and which I understand my dr. will up in a week since it's not working yet.

And yet I remember, when I'm tempted to trust too much in the medications and the doctor, that I have a most powerful "M".........
Mighty God
Majestic One
Merciful Savior
Miracle Worker
Most High God

In Him will I worship. In Him I will trust. He has the answers, every one of them. He will reveal to me what I need to know when I need to know it. I can live in the question and know that it's alright.

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