God is seeing fit to remove some obstacles in my life that distract me from Him. I'm not saying He caused this disease in me. I can't know, although I do wonder about my heavy use of spray paint in a sultry courtyard the day before symptoms steamrolled in in October. This morning, I'm finding it interesting and am curious about what hindsight, if I'm blessed with that, will look like in this journey.
REMOVED OR SET ASIDE: Walking and hiking; Shopping; Cleaning our house (I know this sounds like a blessing, but after 4 months of Greg carrying this alone, I long to be the one running the vacuum and making broad sweeps with a dust rag.); Cooking much at all; Driving; Independence; Playing fetch with our dogs; Grooming Asher; Lifting or carrying anything heavier than one dinner plate. I'm really not complaining. I'm just curious.
THE EXCHANGE: Pain or discomfort that wakes me up by 5:30am for the best part of each day......sitting at the feet of my Savior receiving many gifts from Him; Hurry and busyness- my default distraction from the Lord......for rest and relaxation and the ability to watch someone else do the work; The addiction of doing for others......for the gifts daily of receiving from others, especially my Knight in Shining Armor, Greg; Desire for control.....for surrender to the Lord's deep work in my heart and soul; Aching and tears.....to experience the unconditional love of my husband with countless foot, hand, neck (etc etc) rubs and words of comfort.
I know you are receiving many good and unexpected gifts during this season. I'm just so sorry for the suffering. You are deeply loved and cherished...so completely for WHO you are. Love you and miss you. So glad to follow along with this blog. Great idea.
ReplyDeleteHi Lora! Thank you so much! It is an interesting thing to be stripped of all the "doing" and being left with who you are. Yikes! I'm so glad God is up to remodeling of my heart and attitudes. The raw me without His handiwork would not look so good in this situation! Love you!
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